A Little Lost in the Dark

I had a really rough night after an odd day. I finally gave up around 5:00 am this morning, got up, and went frantically ricocheting around the dark house for a couple of hours (opening windows, among other things, to let in some still-cool, fresh air). All of a sudden I noticed that something had changed, and I stopped dead, panicked in mid-bolt, to figure out what .

Then I realized that, despite my fears that the world is crashing down around me, outside the cold, dark, scary night was lightening as the sun rose slowly over the mountain. The first few rays lanced across the Valley and hit the Range on the other side. What had, all night, and until just a few moments before, been menacing shapes , looming in almost impenetrable darkness, turned into mountains, and trees, and houses. Houses where other people live, and work, and worry. And draw together in times of need.

And I pulled myself together—just a little—and remembered to breathe.

So today I’m grateful:

1. That the sun comes up every morning. No matter what. And that I have nothing to do with it. That “God is in His Heavens, and all is right with the world.” Even if I can’t see it right now from where I’m standing here in the dark.

2. For waking up in California: the sky is unbelievably blue, the air is fresh and clean (love those sea breezes!) and, in the middle of September, it’s over 80 degrees, and climbing. For waking up each morning, period.

3. For having clean water to drink—a BILLION people on this planet don’t.

4. For having clean water to swim in. I know it’s an incredible luxury, and I’m incredibly grateful every time I get the chance. The chances increase with the temperature: another reason to love Indian Summer.

5. And for my little dog, too.

What five things can you be grateful for today?

 

ps: Here’s something, if you haven’t seen this yet this summer: Mars is still giving away FREE chocolate bars (your choice) every Friday @ https://secure.realchocolate.com/ They’ve extended it until October, and you can get one coupon each Friday, 4 per household. I’ve already eaten mine :)

Sharing the Wealth

Took some of the Franken-lemons off the tree on Sunday.

Debated:

1. Throwing them all away—most of the neighbors around here already have more lemons than they can use—and their lemons are nicer.

2. Squeezing and freezing the juice.

Option #2 won out—naturally. But only temporarily. We piled them into boxes and bags, schlepped them around the house, and filled my mom’s car before she headed back home.

By noon the next day, her friends, neighbors, the entire staffs of both her bank and my bank, and the ladies at the thrift shop where she volunteers had relieved her of ALL of ‘em.

She did manage to keep a couple of the little ones for herself. And called me to make sure I didn’t mind that she’d given the rest away—there’d always be more, right?

Absolutely.

I’m pretty sure now that the Frankenbush started out as TWO separate lemon trees. The little ‘normal’ ones grow on the right side (this is the first year I’ve had any one those); and the big ones on the left. None came close to the GIANT ones we had last year, but they’re big enough. And they’re HEAVY – there were a number of branches that looked like they were ready to break. And this year,  under that inch-thick rind, they’re pretty darn good. Which is where we got the idea for juice…

So instead, now a whole bunch of people are enjoying them. Not even discounting the novelty factor!

And I still have the lovely ones from my neighbor, and am still thinking about that new lemon bar recipe…

So go out, and have a bright yellow day! Think about the riches that you take for granted, that someone else would be happy to share.

And if there’s a  little bit of sour, that just makes the rest all the sweeter.

Clarity

The number of out-of-focus pictures I take, (with a more or less automatic camera!) is mind-boggling.

And then, once in a while, I get one like this.

The Ultimate Goal

It’s 8am and almost 80 degrees under an impossibly blue, blue sky. Still a coolish breeze teasing around, but it’s going to be a very warm, beautiful day. I love mornings like this!  Time to walk, breathe, be grateful. Not stress over GAINING a pound and a half this week, instead of losing. Despite staying on plan. Despite going to the gym faithfully. Despite swimming for hours after work. Despite not having had any chocolate in….well, days and days at least.

I saw an old college friend a couple of months ago and one of the things that came up was keeping your eye on the ultimate goal when confronted with obstacles. In a professional situation, that has always meant I get smart, I get more focused, and I get results. For whichever large organization I’m working for at the time. Yay for them.

But it’s not something I’ve always been good at personally. If it’s “just” me, I get frustrated, I get my feelings hurt, I get defensive. I retreat. I make emotional decisions. And in the process of trying to “show” them,  (what am I, four?!) I end up hurting myself.

Tuesday afternoon I was at the funky little gym here in the Village. The one that’s only open Monday through Friday, and then only until 6pm.

Barely.

Let’s call the proprietor Moody Mike (MM). Because he is. Very. And Moody Mike gets bored, sitting all day in the funky little gym. Understandable. But woe betide anyone who comes in after 4:30 for a workout. Or heaven forbid, close to 5:00, which is what I did Tuesday.

I signed in at 4:50. An hour and ten minutes is enough for a decent workout and some cardio, doncha think? But by 5:30 the only other guy in there wrapped up his loud, lengthy conversation with MM and left.

And then the glowering starts (MM’s a BIG guy. It’s intimidating.) MM wants to go home. Waves of resentment (?! He’s the one with the OPEN sign on the door) start rolling off him and hammering at me, quietly cardio-ing away in the corner. I try not to notice, but the heart monitor in front of me registers higher. I don’t mind if he switches off all the lights. I’m THRILLED when he switches off the bone-jarring music (don’t get me wrong—I love music, but the gym is really LOUD in a really small space and the mostly older members or already-deaf younger members with ipods in their ears YELL to be heard over…you get the idea). I don’t mind when he empties the trash or starts mopping the floors.

But at 5:50, when he closes the doors and turns off the machines I’m USING, it’s too much.

I try to unclench my jaw, and leave.

And I decide not to go back.

I think about checking out the ‘other’ gym again. The ‘real’ gym, in Mid-Valley, about seven miles away. The one with better hours, that’s open on the weekends, and has showers and lockers, albeit a bit primitive. The one close to the grocery store, and the bank. The one the ‘guys’ go to.

The one my (female) neighbor calls an unprintable name, and says smells.

I also think about the unused equipment in my garage. And living room. And walking shoes. And my dog. And whether I need to go to a gym at all.

So I don’t.

I didn’t go to the gym yesterday. It’s a month-to-month membership and yesterday my check was due. I hadn’t made a real decision on the other gym, but I had decided to take at least this month off from this one.

That’ll show him.

And then I thought about Lisa, and the Ultimate Goal.

So I’m going back to the gym today. Like a big girl. I’m going to pack up the TWELVE sales I had yesterday, take them to the post office on the way and get them mailed out. Maybe I’ll make it to the gym a little early – not for Moody Mike, but for me. I don’t need the hassle. And I’ll hand in a check for another month.

Because that gym suits MY purposes. It’s close, it’s cheap, it’s an important component on the way to my Ultimate Goal. MM is a good trainer, and he can help me get there. I want to be fit again. I want to be strong, and healthy. And look hot in whatever clothes I choose to wear.

Besides, maybe I’m imagining the whole thing, and MM doesn’t mind at all that people who’ve paid to use his gym actually do so.

It doesn’t matter. I’ve got my eye on the Goal.

And I’m not buying any chocolate, either.

Grateful for Sunshine and Sales!

Sorry it’s been so long again. I’ve been having serious computer problems, grrrr! And keeping busy with my etsy shops. I ‘ve been listing new items like crazy in both shops, and was rewarded this morning with a big ArtTile order. I’m SO grateful! And still always a little amazed :)

In the meantime, I wanted to thank Michele from By Your Side for the suggestion to use LiveWriter. I started using it with my last post and it’s already been a huge improvement. Thanks, Michelle!

More soon, I promise. Hope you’re all enjoying these beautiful, late summer days. We had crazy hot weather Friday and Saturday (104!), coolish Sunday in the 70s, then 80+ Monday, a smidge over 90 on Tuesday…who knows? Gotta enjoy it while it lasts!

A special prayer of safekeeping for all the firefighters battling horrific blazes across the state. And compassion and healing for all those affected.  ♥