Monday, January 11, 2010

Fast the New Year

The driveway wasn’t the only thing I fell off of last Monday.


It was also the first day of my New Year’s diet. One of the things that is going to make this year so great is that I’m getting back in shape. Just getting back to my pre-Christmas weight would be a good start. Ever since they finally, FINALLY fixed my oven, I’ve been baking, and cooking, (and eating) up a storm. I got the five pounds you always gain at Christmas gained early on—at least that was one thing to cross off my list. And then I gained five more…

Darn me for being such a good cook :P

I’d agreed to kick-start that get healthy/lose weight process by going on the ‘Lemonade Cleanse’ with a twitter-friend of mine. He’s done it before, successfully, a couple of times, so we agreed to support one another.

And Monday was supposed to be my first day.

(I’m already lying. Sunday, January 3rd was supposed to be my first day. But I still had fresh crab in the house. Christmas (and New Year’s) on the California coast also means fresh crab, a rare and wonderful treat. Yum! Nice with a good German Riesling, if you’re into that sort of thing.) So I was still eating some of that fabulous crab on Sunday. I also ate, cleaned out, gave away, or froze most of the rest of the too-tempting food in the house. (I froze the rest of the crab legs, but kept them for myself. Already looking forward to those later.)

So Monday morning I’d had my first cup of tea and then my first glass of the magic cleansing potion (2TB of lemon juice, 2TB of maple syrup, and a dash of cayenne pepper in 10 oz. of filtered water) just before I walked out the front door and over the edge of the driveway into hurtville.

But I wasn’t going to let a little thing like pain stop me.

Now, I’ve tried this Cleanse thing before, a couple of times, over the years. And I’ve fasted successfully, for, oh, say six, eight, maybe even ten hours at a time.

This time I was determined to do better. And indeed, the day was a breeze. I often go for hours at a time without eating (during the day), and the potion isn’t bad at all. How bad can anything be with two tablespoons of maple syrup in it? (The very best part is licking the spoon.)

Got through the day, got through the walk, got through the gym and even got through the hour on the old lady bike.

Then I got home and ate everything in the house.

I mean everything. I started with a Baby Ruth bar. A nice fresh, chewy, one. Then I had half a pound of bacon, a slice of Swiss cheese, a CHUNK of cheddar cheese, then a Butterfinger bar. For dessert.

And then another one.

And I wasn’t even hungry.

No human being should be able to eat that much food in one evening. And I shouldn’t have had that food in the house to begin with.

Well, it’s not in the house anymore.

I finished the day with my cup of herbal tea and resolved to start again in the morning.

Went to bed (after scrubbing off the blood) and realized (all night, every time I tried to turn over) that I’d really wrenched by back when I fell and that it HURT to move.

And resolved to do better tomorrow.